An Zahid A., 14. November 2011, Basel
Your mail sounds a bit sad: inflation eating up the froots of your efforts, not able to save and advance, and the lack of love, the dream, that things could or should be different ... It's the tired warrier, who speaks. Tired of being in this world of frootless struggle and constant fight ...
I am sitting in the train to some small place near Zurich. I am going to see a guy I met on the internet. It's all about taking your clothes off, you know. However, I hope that we're not only touching our bodies, but also our hearts and souls. Would be nice! And there's Ives, another man in my life since a few months, a very shy guy, kind of nervous,wanting and not wanting, always taking back what he says, afraid of intimacy ... yes, a nervous guy but ... hmm, I haven't felt the kind of butterflying in my stomach for many years. It's an exercize in being patient, in giving him time and space and not rushing. It's about sex, but more important, it's about intimacy and love and companionship.
Well, that's the heart part. Besides - I don't know, whether I told you that I'm back from Africa. I was in Congo in late september to have a crisis talk with the two congolese vice-recteurs of the Panafrican Peace University. I hoped, we could find a way to deal with the various problems which had become apparent during summer, but after some frootless e-mail exchange the direct talk was no better, so that I decided to step down from my honorary poste of recteur of PPU and quit working for and with project. It was a hard decision, because I was really in love with the idea of this university, but reality was so far apart from what we wanted and from what we said we were doing, that even I understood, that I had to get out. Well, its a long and complex story. Now I am in Basel - kind of unexpected, because I thought, I'd spend all winter in Congo. I staid with Urs and Pina for some weeks. Now I am on my own in a room without water and kitchen facility. In a couple of months my life as hermit will end, because the couple, which is occupying the apartment next door, is going to move out and then I will share the flat with some other lonely birds like me - creating a temporary family of choice. I hope it will be nice, entertaining, enriching and all that. In February I plan to go back to Africa, not Congo,but Mauretania again to spend some time with Ousman, the blind man who showed me around in Mauretanias capital last year. A great man, full of energy and plans, struggling to get away from his predetermined social place as begger ... I guess, I told you about him in May. Until then I have all kinds of small and big projects going on, much of it still connected to Africa.
Yes, it's a strange life... Right now, it treats me nicely and I am quite happy, but mood can change quickly ... It's a continuous live and dy as one of our greatest poets said ...
Now it's your turn again. Tell me how inflation is going and whether the yurning for love still tortures you. Tell me about the independent cane-walker program and about trips to Europe etc. etc.
I am looking forward to hear from you!
big hug and hello to Sheeza and the kids!